i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize