Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Did I show you my penis last night?
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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