haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
We left an ass print on the piano.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
