We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
How does one acquire holy water?
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
