? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
