my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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