And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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