Can i not drive my cunt home
hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
