week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
