if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
How does one acquire holy water?
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
