Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Randomize
