Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
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