ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
