As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
