I want to stick my p in your. b.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
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