um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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