I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
