you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Vodka?
Forever.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
