so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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