dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
