she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
