theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
