I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
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