The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize