He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Randomize
