I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Randomize