Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I have demons in me.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Randomize
