She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
