Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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