Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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