I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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