im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
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