I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
