You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize