yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
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So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
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