I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
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