so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
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The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
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Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
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