no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Randomize
