Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
