Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Randomize
