I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize