he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize
