CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
