everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I need to calm my uterus...
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
