So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
