i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
