Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
