No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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