i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I have fence marks all over my body
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
