his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
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God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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