you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
