In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
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