he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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