Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
