I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
