Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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