you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize