I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
At least life still wants to fuck me.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
