I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
