that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
